How to be a Little Less Bothered – A Guide on Finding Contentment: Lessons From Ecclesiastes

Don’t you think something is wrong with how bothered everyone is these days? I mean, sometimes I want to scream “CHILL OUT!” to the entire world. Time seems to go by faster than ever, deadlines, relentless hustle…Am I the only one tired of this norm? Over the past year, I developed a guide that taught me how to be a little less bothered about life in general. I’m glad to be sharing it with you!

1. Know the One who holds your future.

Rather than looking inwards all the time as most motivational speakers and books recommend, the wisest, richest, and most accomplished man to have ever lived, King Solomon, recommends looking upwards.

“I perceive that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it so that people fear before him.”

​​-Ecclesiastes 3:14

My favorite bible verse (Hebrews 6:19) says that we have hope as an anchor, that is sure and steady. An anchor is used to stop a vessel from drifting by hooking it to the seabed. It is used to hold a vessel in place against winds and currents. This is what God does for us. He is our only constant stability and security, provided that we remain hooked in Him. This is the One who holds your future. The One who has good plans for you. 

Our hustle culture will leave you drained and unfulfilled. Truly. They say find your purpose, but purpose is not found in the “whats”-- it is found in “Who”. You can chase numerous things you can do (the "whats"), but remain unfulfilled because you have yet to know Who gives purpose. Do you have Him? Stay unbothered.

2. Know yourself (abilities, weaknesses)

“There’s no limit to what you can achieve, you just have to keep pushing.” Let me hold your hands while I tell you this: Honey, there are limits as to what you can achieve! There are time constraints, intellectual constraints, financial constraints, skill deficiencies, physical constraints, opportunity deficits, and the list goes on. No matter how hard you try, you just can’t achieve some goals. It is wise for you to know this and to accept this. Be honest with yourself. You cannot do everything. You cannot know everything or have access to every opportunity. Unfortunately, it is true even if you pour your whole heart and soul into trying to achieve some of your life goals. Where you have natural advantage(s), build on them. Put in the work! Nobody’s coming to do it for you. You will get better, and we must best believe that He will make everything beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

3. Develop and keep good relationships

“Two are better than one…if they fall, one will lift up his fellow...how can one stay warm alone…two will withstand him…” 

​​-Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

In a world that prioritizes social media likes and hearts over genuine human connections, choose to take out time to develop real, tangible human connections. Be kind to your co-workers. Go on family holidays, ditch social media for a day and spend time in the park, drop your younger ones at school when you can, show up for your friends, congratulate other people’s achievements, visit your grandparents, call or write letters. When death comes knocking on your door, these are the people who will be by your side; the people who cannot be replaced with anyone or anything else. Your position at work will probably be taken a few days after you pass. Family, friends…they are the real deal. Focus on them.

4. Let go of the past (glory, mistakes, environments) and the future "what-ifs"

“Do not say, why were the former days better than these? For it is not from wisdom that you ask this.”

​​-Ecclesiastes 7:10

a) Whatever grave sin you have committed, you repented and God forgave you; move on. Do not look on the past. He rescued you, and He meant it when He said, “You are forgiven, go and sin no more.” Do not look back. Looking back gets you stuck right where you are, like Lot’s wife!

b) You used to be a star; now you’re not "all that" anymore. Do not look to the past. Even great achievements will eventually be forgotten. Do your best and leave the results up to God. There are times and seasons. This might be your waiting season that will propel you into higher dimensions and bigger wins. There is a time and season for everything under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3). Live in the present.

c) Every fish farmer knows that if fish are not given enough space to grow and swim, they may survive, but they will often be stunted in development. Applying this knowledge to life, if you do not move out of places you have outgrown: out of toxic relationships and unhealthy friendships that stifle you, your rate of progress will be slowww. You can outgrow environments. And when you do - leave. Move away from toxic environments that cost you your mental health. Let go of unhealthy relationships.

d) We are encouraged to plan for the future as wise people, but we are also admonished not to be anxious about the future. "What-ifs" fill us with anxiety. We do not serve a "what-if" god. We serve a God who does not change like shifting shadows, and He says not to worry.

5. Be contented with what you have (count your blessings)

Enjoy the stage of life that you’re at. “When I’m finally earning more, I’ll be happier.” False. “I can’t wait to get married so I can be happy.” Wrong. Count the many blessings you already have. Clean air to breathe, solid shoes on your feet, sweet little kids…(even the big troublesome ones). You may be in a season of waiting. Contentment is not saying “God, I’m okay where I’m at,” rather, “God, I thank you for what I have. I know that you’ll graciously provide whatever else I need in due time.”

“…there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live, also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil-this is God’s gift to man,”

​​-Ecclesiastes 3: 12-13.

Contentment can be found in applying the points listed above. Enjoying God, knowing ourselves, enjoying our work, relationships, and God’s creation. 

These tips have given me direction and made my life easier as a young adult in this super-fast, extremely demanding generation, and I pray that they help you navigate these present-day dynamics.

XOXO Gemma-Elizabeth