When God Closes a Door: The Story Behind "Trustworthy"

Well, it’s finally here.

This Saturday, Trustworthy—a devotional I have been writing off and on for around three years—will be available on Amazon.

I began writing Trustworthy during a season when I desperately needed to see the Lord. A series of heartbreaks had happened one after another, and by the third or fourth thing I was emotionally depleted and spiritually confused.

The heartbreaks all carried a similar theme: I believed I was walking in obedience to God, only to have the door slam shut in front of me.

It began when we tried to bring Gemma to the United States for college. After three attempts, her student visa was denied again and again. I truly believed God had told us to pursue it, so I could not understand why He had allowed the door to remain closed. I still don't know His reason.

Our second adoption journey began in South Africa in 2019. COVID rerouted us to Colombia, and after four years of waiting, we allowed our paperwork to expire because we believed the Lord was leading us to move to Zambia to serve vulnerable children. We made preparations to go, but then that door very unexpectedly closed too.

During that same season, painful situations arose within the church we had attended for years. We tried to do what we believed was right, but we felt deeply misunderstood.

At that point, my prayer became very simple: “Lord, I just need to see You.”

And Trustworthy was born out of that prayer.

There was a six-month stretch when I stopped writing altogether. I wondered whether I would ever finish the devotional—or even continue this blog. Then my dear friend April reached out, I shared with her, and she essentially said, “Keep writing, Catherine!”

Her encouragement meant more than she probably knows. This past winter, we even went away for a little weekend writing retreat, which I secretly hope becomes an annual tradition. I haven’t told her that yet.

I also asked Gemma to begin sharing this blog with me, which she agreed to. This little writing space has become such such a joy to us both.

Eventually, I picked Trustworthy back up, and by God’s grace, I was able to carry it across the finish line.

On Saturday, August 1st, it will be available on Amazon for anyone who would like to read it.

Each week explores a different attribute of God, with Scripture remaining at the center. It includes a full year of devotions, with two catch-up days built into each week.

My deepest prayer is that these pages would magnify your awe and stir your affection for Christ.

Writing this devotional changed me. God truly is my portion.

He is like a diamond: every angle from which we behold Him makes all the others shine even more beautifully. 

And He has shown me a powerful lesson through writing this devotional: We are called to good works as His disciples, yes; but we are called even more to relationship with Him. God told me, "Catherine, stop constantly trying to 'do for Me' and just 'pause and enjoy Me.'"

I pray the Lord uses Trustworthy to cause us to enjoy Him more deeply.