Hope vs. Despair: A Poem

Dear reader, there are moments when the weight of life presses so heavily on us that our hearts forget how to breathe freely. Despair whispers in those moments with such a loud intensity that it builds invisible cages around our minds. It holds our attention hostage, turning our focus again and again toward the wounds others have left in us.

Yet even in the darkest chambers of sorrow, another voice calls.

Hope.

Gentle and persistent. Hope reminds us that God is not finished with our story. That restoration is not a distant dream but a present promise which will be fulfilled.

This poem I wrote depicts the difference between the grip of despair and the rising light of hope. I invite you to enjoy this piece and then to take a moment to meditate on the reflection questions that follow.

How dare you tell me to calm down                                                  when all you ever did was to raise my blood pressure up​ How dare you demand that I trust you​ When all you ever did was make me doubt​ How dare you ask me to serve​ Who were you serving when you scarred me? ​                    What were you hoping to achieve? Now you want love and trust and admiration?!​ I can’t give what I don’t have!! How dare-how dare you even think I want anything to do with you! Leave me alone or stay, I don’t care I hate that I can never be rid of you You have left an everlasting companion with me  Resentment is my shadow Heartache my song I am in love with hatred My lover offers no solace, no shade I am open to whatever else you have  You never run out of ideas I hope the pain you intend to inflict outweighs its predecessor I am numb to the usual​​ Up my dosage!​ I release myself to the agony.​

I am still You are my peace; my anchor amidst life’s billows I trust you You have turned the messiest parts of me into the most beautiful I want to serve you How hastily you come to my rescue My soul’s deepest longing, take my love, my life, my all I have everything that pertains to life and godliness Break my will, make it Thine! Hold me closer to your heart Where can I go to depart from your spirit? You are ever with me I sing of your amazing grace I am redeemed I am in love with Love Your Love meets all my needs Use me as you will and for your will Your plans are always better Far bigger I cannot even begin to imagine What I’ll be when your work in me is finished  I release myself to sovereign joy.

An invitation to reflect...

1. When despair speaks, what does it usually say to you—and whose voice does it sound like?

2. What “cages” have you allowed your hurts to build around your thoughts?

3. How does holding onto past wounds affect the way you see yourself and others?

4. Where have you seen even a small spark of hope recently, even if you overlooked it at first?

5. What part of your heart is God gently inviting into healing right now?

6. What would freedom look like if you released the people who hurt you into God’s hands?

7. How does remembering God’s restoration change the way you interpret your current struggles?

XOXO,

Gemma-Elizabeth