Making Room for Friendship in our Busy, Adult Lives

I wanted to write this week’s blog post about friendship, specifically as an adult. When I was a little girl I participated in Girl Scouts (Troop 109??🤔), or at least I think it was 109, and I remember well the old song we used to sing: “Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.” Any other Girl Scout readers remember that song? New friends, old friends...they are all special, and friendship matters. It matters a lot.

We have seasons of life when our paths don’t easily cross with those we sincerely love and care about. One of my very best friends lives across the ocean, and we get to see each other in person once a year (I am so thankful!). Many of us have kids, homes, jobs, spouses, health concerns, and so many other daily responsibilities, joys, and burdens mining for our time.

But regardless our season...friendship is important. And it's worth fighting for.

It’s important as toddlers, when we are put in a preschool setting to learn how to share our toys and interact with peers. It’s important as adolescents, when friendship becomes a crucial, central part of healthy development. And it’s important as adults, when we need genuine, heart-level connection in the midst of our many responsibilities.

I can’t stop thinking about how God made us to connect with others, not only through a phone screen, but through real, live connection. In person is ideal, of course, but as someone with a heart-daughter across the ocean and a bestie also overseas, I also praise God for this digital age we find ourselves in.

God made us for people. He designed us to experience community. Real connection.

And I mean connection that goes far beyond the “like” and “love” buttons on the handheld screens that somehow live in our pockets 24/7. Mine included!

Phones and social media are wonderful in a lot of ways, but they are not replacements for people: real voices, real eye contact, real laughter, a real hand on your shoulder while a friend prays over you. You get the picture.

Has anyone else seen Toy Story 5? I did, and honestly, I should have packed tissues in my purse. It drives home this very point. I cried, more than I'd like to admit. (You should see it!)

So, as a 38-year-old homeschooling mom who runs her own business and writes in the small pockets of free time I can find, here are some of the most effective ways I’ve found to deepen friendships during a busy season of life:

1. Call her. Even if you only have five minutes in the car, don’t avoid calling simply because you don’t have the hour you wish you had to “really catch up.” Tell her when she picks up, "I have 5 minutes, but I missed you so I still called."

   
   

2. Answer the phone when you see your friend calling. Even if you truly can’t talk, pick it up and say something like, “I saw you calling and couldn’t not answer! I’ll call you back when I have a minute, but hearing your voice even for a second brightens my day.” I promise, she gets it. She 100% will understand.

   
   

3. When you see something that reminds you of your friend, shoot a quick text. A Bible verse, a reel, a funny sign...it takes only a few seconds, and it says, “You’re on my mind.”

   
   

4. Do errands together. I did this yesterday with a dear friend. We went to the Asian supermarket, stopped inside Target to buy some much-needed candy, and filled up water jugs (because Chatham County water...if you know, you know). We had fun, caught up, and were productive with our responcibilities at the same time (Yes, candy counts ;)).

   
   

5. Sincerely take time to pray for your friends and the things you know are burdening them. Then let them know. What better way to be a friend than to be a prayer warrior on their behalf? Knowing my friends pray for me means so much!

   
   

6. Go for a walk with your friend. You get exercise, vitamin D, and connection...so much goodness tied up in one activity.

   
   

7. Choose wisely. This one might sound bad at first, but I think you’ll understand what I mean. You are one person, and you cannot invest deeply everywhere, especially when you are caring for children, making meals for your family, caring for your aging parents, working, involvement at church, etc. It is better to go a mile deep and an inch wide than an inch deep and a mile wide. We need real connection with people we respect and enjoy.

   
   

8. Be vulnerable. If you are struggling, tell your friend. It frees them to do the same when they are struggling. We don't have it all together and we don't need to act like we do.

   
   

9. Be a good listener. Sometimes the kindest thing we can offer is our full attention.

   
   

10. Be silly. It is so good to laugh with a friend. Humor is such a gift from the Lord, and I am convinced He has a great sense of humor. Life is already so full of serious things. When you find a friend you can laugh with, cry with, and be completely yourself around without feeling judged, hold tightly to that friendship.

    
    

I hope these 10 ideas encourage you in your friendships, as they have encouraged me.

I am certainly not a friendship expert, and I am definitely not a perfect friend. But I do deeply value friendship. I love my friends dearly, and I want to make sure they know it, even in the middle of life’s busy seasons and endless responsibilities. I need them.

I figured that if I felt this way, some of you might feel the same.🩷

Comment below if you'd like to share the things you have found to be a blessing in your adult friendships. We can learn and grow together as we seek to love our friends well.

Just a couple of buddies on the Target candy isle on a random, July, Wednesday afternoon.